the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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