oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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