We won't sleep together?
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
