Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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