If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
