even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
