you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
