your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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