Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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