She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
