When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
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I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
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he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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