can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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