I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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