scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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