We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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