if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
