you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
