I cockslap morals
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
