If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My bed smells like the plague
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
