I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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