yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
