When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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