seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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