I just cut my nipple shaving
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
