She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
