Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
