don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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