if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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