i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
