try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
