She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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