yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
