i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
