the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
