so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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