Do you still have your period?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
