do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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