my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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