tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
