Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
