I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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