after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
