In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
