So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
