So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
