i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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