We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
