how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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