We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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