All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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