I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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