I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
