I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
