If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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