I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
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Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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