Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
