That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
