loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
