So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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