He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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