Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
