Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
