i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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