I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
