babies were throwing up all over the place
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
