I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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